Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. (I question that statement) After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews, albeit they may lack a formal higher education, has ever lacked a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ‘ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Probably because auto-land is not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode has a 200 ft. per min. descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF IS inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
* PS: Aircraft acting funny S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. *
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Have you ever wanted to learn self hypnosis? Believe it or not, you dont need to have a collection of books, audio tapes, dvd’s or a professional hypnotist to learn, you dont even need a spiritual guru. All you need to do is learn a few simple techinques.
Putting into practice a few simple techniques to bring yourself to a state of deep relaxation can be very easy and rewarding. The most important thing is to find a place that offers complete comfort and quiet. The last thing you need once reaching a state of deep relaxtion is to be disturbed part way through.
Now you need to learn how to completely relax your muscles and whether sitting or laying down is better for you. You will also need to learn what to do when you are in a subconscious state.
Going Under
Reaching a subconscious state can often be referred to as “going under”. Generally this means that the conscious mind is “asleep” and the subconscious mind is more accessible. You will be able to achieve this yourself after learning some basic self hypnosis techniques.
Various people will use various techniques to put themselves under, so it is best to try a variety and then use which is best for you. You could even dicover your own technique.
Find a comfortable space where you will not be disturbed for quite a long period of time. When first attempting self hypnosis dont be discouraged if it takes you more than an hour to officially “go under”. Make sure you chose a place with complete quiet and where you feel most at ease. Remember to turn off phones and other things that may disturb you. Full concentration will be needed to focus on the self hypnosis techniques.
Concentrate on your breathing, feel the air as it enters and then leaves your body. Relax all your muscles and clear your mind of all thoughts. You will find yourself deeply relaxed. This can only be described as sleeping without being asleep. Once you have reached this state, you can do anything you want.
Some people use a self hypnosis script to cause themselves to relax, and also to give themselves instructions and suggestions once their under. This script can include mantras on quitting smoking, losing weight, remembering more things, becoming a stronger person, or anything else you think you need to become a better person.
It is your own personal preference as to what goals you wish to achieve with self hypnosis. It may be for self improvement, it could just as easily be simply a way to relax from the stresses of day to day life. Only you will know what you want and need. With enough practise, you will soon become a master at self hypnosis.
About the Author:
Louise Servage writes for Memory Training Site a business that specifically targets self hypnosis techniques and tricks of the mind, thing which are required for success in today’s world.
The suggestions that follow may seem trivial but they they have the distinction of working almost every time they are tried. They address the central reason why some schools do much better than others even when all other factors are equal. It is all to easy when planning a new fundraiser to focus on the things that don’t matter. Here are five of the right things to you should focus on.
Below you will find four things that a school or group can do that will greatly affect how much money is raised with their new fundraiser:
Step #1 - Profit Percentage Does Not Lead to More Profits.
A company offering 80% profit on it’s goods vs a company offering a 20% profit margin is not necessarily better for a school. One thing people often overlook is that banks do not accept deposits of percentage. Every bank I know of accepts only money. Profit percentage is the thing that many decision makers look at first when it comes time to pick what they are going to do for their new fundraiser. What I am saying here does not mean profit percentage is not important, but it should not be the school’s first and only priority when choosing their next new and unique fundraiser. It should be the school’s number one goal to raise the maximum profit possible with the least amount of hassles!
Step #2 - The Product You Sell Does Make a Difference (But Not As Much As You Might Think) Coming up with the right product for your new fundraiser does make a difference, however, it is not the most important factor in having a successful fundraiser. You have probably seen this in your own neighborhood, how two schools decide to sell cookie dough and they both sell them at the same time and the same price. But the difference in their results (Profits) were HUGE! Because of this, you could come to the conclusion that it is not the product which made the difference. So what is it that makes the huge difference? Hint, see Step #4!
Step #3 - Time Your Fundraiser as Early In the School Year as Possible
When you kickoff your fundraiser is a very important aspect of it’s success. It is an undisputed fact that the first school who’s sales brochure goes into an office or neighborhood has higher sales than the one that comes last. However, timing is not the #1 reason why schools have successful fundraisers. Hint, see Step #4!
Step #4- How the fundraiser is Run is the Number One Factor in it’s Success.
Program Management is the element that makes all the difference in having a successful fundraiser. You as a fundraising chairperson may know that “How” the school fundraiser is run is critical to it’s success, but the main problem is not many fundraising companies train the sponsors in how to run their sale the right way. On top of that, it is very simple to do.
Follow These Simple Guidelines of Program Management to Get The Most Out of Your Sale.
A) Setting Goals for the School
B) A Memorable Kick Off
C) Maintaining Excitement for the Duration of the Sale
D) Find Good Volunteers
E) Motivate the Students/Sellers Like There Is No Tomorrow
F) Motivating the Teachers and Staff members to Promote the Sale.
To maximize the results on a new fundraiser the students/sellers must be motivated to participate in a way that they have not been before. You can provide motivation not only to the students but to the teachers as well.
The main reason why one school will make $8,000 while another similar school will make $15,000, is in what they did with their prizes for students and for the teachers!
We at AIM have a saying “Students could sell $5 bills for $10.00 and do real well if you motivate them good enough.” The most important part of your fundraiser will be to provide incentives that truly motivate your students and teachers to participate in your sale like they have never done before! A school that typically has a 25% participation rate will more than double with only a 15% increase in participation. Increasing participation by 15% is not a hard thing to do.
About the Author:
School fundraising is a major part of the life of most parent organizations. It makes sense that if you are going to have one, you might as well get the most you possibly can out of it. Go to AIM Fundraising’s website to learn exactly what you need to do to make your next school fundraising project the most successful it can possibly be.
